Yesterday I preached a sermon for which I was unprepared. No, it was not a matter of not 'wrapping up the details' the night before, nor was it a matter of not being fully immersed in the scripture text. Rather, it was a matter of the Spirit. Simply put, God's Spirit had something else in mind to be preached than what I was prepared to present . . . and God's Spirit will not be denied. Ever.
I have been asked before to explain that sort of statement (God's Spirit will not be denied), but it is a hard thing to get my own head around. It is something between a deep gut feeling which moves you towards speaking or doing something you instinctively know is incredibly right and true in God's eyes . . . and completely surrendering your own will and control in the service of the One who, at that moment, fills and guides your every action. Talk about humbling and excruciating!
On the one hand, you are filled with complete confidence and 'blessed assurance' about that which is happening, allowing a freedom of action and delivery beyond explanation, while at the same time, I find myself as much, or more, convicted by what the Spirit has to say in such moments than I really care to admit to anyone. The problem of preaching in the Spirit is that, in the Spirit, everyone, including the preacher, becomes the target audience - and, in my case, the target becomes very large and the Spirit is very accurate.
But, in the midst of such moments (which happen more often than I can count) I find myself wrestling with very practical and human emotions and needs: What happens when the feelings of those closest to you are hurt? What happens when the prophetic voice of the Spirit makes others feel uncomfortable to listen? When those you love become angry with what they hear? What happens when the Spirit chooses to speak to the Pharaohs of the church and the only ones who hear are the common ordinary people on whose backs the institutional church is built, those who have least chance to change the nature of their enslavement?
In a culture of 'me-first', 'self-care', and 'creature-comfort', the preaching moment which challenges more than comforts, transforms more than transfers, and restructures more than renews, is cause for more than a few 'pleasure-seekers' to go somewhere else 'to be filled'. How does a servant of God really serve God without loosing friends and family? Without becoming the pariah of the pulpit? Without offending the very ones with whom you share the journey? Without emptying the very pews put in place to welcome folks coming to Christ?
Maybe the core question for me in such wrestling is, "Do I really mean it when I say, 'Have thine own way, Lord'?" Do I have the faith to live in the Spirit of God in every moment?
Jesus sets the tone for the answers I am seeking in my life: Be true to the faith God has in you. "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near" are the words with which Jesus begins His ministry. It is good news for the oppressed and oppressive news to the powers and principalities. It afflicts the comfortable and comforts the afflicted. Yet, Jesus did not keep His peace, He proclaimed it. People will choose where they will be, how they will receive the Spirit, and how they will behave around the messengers. Sometimes they crucify them.
Those called to particularized ministries are not called to popularity contests, but to serve the Lord our God with all their heart, all their soul, and with all their might. More than how people receive the messages of the sermons I preach, I pray God receives with joy the heart of my love for all Christ's people in the sermons I live. In so reflecting, the words of the old hymn, "Spirit of the Living God" have a fresh meaning in me today, "Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me". I pray for the Spirit to give me the conviction of heart to live their meaning and to celebrate in the Spirit this vocation to which I am called and the unexpected sermons the Spirit speaks.
Your servant in Christ,
Pastor Don
2 comments:
When you started yesterday morning, I told Jennifer to hold on! I find it amazing how you preach, and then you decide to take a different turn, something that you are unprepared for, and it always comes across so well--so eloquently. From where I sit, it's exciting when you say something like, "We're going in a different direction this morning." I am thankful that you have the ability to hear the guideance from above and you go with it.
I agree with my Mom. You would never know when you don't know what you're going to say during a sermon. I would be very nervous to get up in front of people and not know if you're going to hurt their feelings or not. I think you are a wonderful and very powerful pastor and teacher.
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