Resolved or Not?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.

In all your ways acknowledge the Lord, and the Lord will make straight your paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6)

‘I promise to be different . . . ‘(which we have been explicitly taught to believe is ‘better’) is what we essentially say when we make a resolution at the beginning of a New Year. It is also what is essentially said when we confess our sins and seek God’s pardon. ‘I promise to be different . . .’

Not to be overly cynical but, in an effort to be transparent, rarely am I different for the sake of someone else or at another’s demanding, even that of God. God and others often help me to see there is a different way, yet until I choose that for myself it is little more than someone else’s notion of how I should live my life. A New Year’s resolution, like a vow ‘not to sin again’, made to satisfy another will seldom bear fruit, whether it is about losing weight, doing more exercise, trying to incorporate time spent reading or vowing to takes days off as I tell others to do. No, a resolution made for the sake of another is not my resolution. It is simply a means to appease, to acknowledge, or even acquiesce . . . it is not my own.

On the other hand, a personal decision made to change direction, whether in the gym, in the church or in the very Presence of God is just that: A personal decision. Individual or corporate confession cannot coerce such a decision, neither can a resolution give voice to such a choice. It is personal, requires commitment and demands integrity for such a change of direction to be true . . . and includes accountability.

God could lead the Israelite children out of Egypt, separate the sea, overwhelm the Egyptian armies and guide them towards freedom, but God could not coerce the Israelites not to build a golden calf or murmur about quails and manna or even to stop complaining when they were thirsty. Upon entering the land, the Israelites had to make a personal decision about whom it would be that they would worship and follow, as Joshua said to them, “Choose this day . . . “

John the Baptist could exhort the masses to confess their sins and be baptized, but he could not force them to live the meaning of baptism, such were the brood of vipers.

Jesus could heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, address the powers and principalities, even take on the cross itself, but He could not keep the disciples from running away in fear, the crowds from thirsting for blood or even the remnant who stayed with Him from believing in the power of death. It was only when they chose for themselves to believe in the empty tomb, whether because they viewed His pierced hands and feet and put their hands into the wound in His side or because they heard from others and were convinced it was true . . . It was only when they chose for themselves to believe that they were able to ‘change direction’ and become truly trusting of the Lord with all their heart – and affect such change in others.

Change: You can want it for me, but you cannot demand or require it of me. It is the way we are made by the One who designs and creates still.

In the coming days I am committing my journey to living my humanity more fully in God, not so that I can be viewed as ‘better’ or ‘more acceptable to Heaven’ but, rather, because my heart of hearts longs for more than this world is capable of providing. What I have not found in money or position or politics or power or even organized religion, I am coming to discover and savor more fully in service to God with family, congregation, community and world. It is a state of being human without regard for that which government and media uses to separate and define us. It is a state of being faithful without distinctions as classified by religion or ethnicity. It is a state of identifying and embracing the holy and sacred in others, even ourselves, regardless the profane which permeates that which many accept as ‘the norm’.

It is not so much about ‘change’ as it is a hope for ‘fully living’ the life we are given, I am given.

Resolve away, confess to your heart’s content, set it all in stone before the administrators of the world, but until you choose the path to walk – and allow the journey to become holy and sacred in your soul – nothing will change, ever. Have a blessed New Year and may the Way of Christ and the trust of the Lord guide your steps towards the Home of your being, the Realm of God already becoming known in love as you are Loved.