Good Friday

On this Maundy Thursday, as Jesus gathers with His disciples in an upper room, washes their feet, breaks bread and pours wine that is blessed to become new in His presence, I wonder: What does the face of betrayal look like? Is the face of betrayal dark and foreboding? Is it pock-marked with dis-ease and struggle? Does the face of betrayal glint like steel or is it gray like rock and cold with calculation? Does the face of betrayal catch the shimmering rays of candlelight and dull them, even deaden them, with dread? What does the face of betrayal look like?

And what of the face of denial? Is it the face of innocence that will simply never understand? Is it the face of the well-meaning, good-intentioned companion who, like the seed scattered upon the rocks is there one moment and gone the next? Is denial the ill-timed nervous laughter in the corner escaping at the precise moment the Master tries to explain why He is washing their feet? Is it the blank stare the never sees or the muted ears that never hear? Is the face of denial the one first to cry out allegiance, so anxious to be found worthy, yet so unprepared to stand? Is the face of denial the one that seems always to be looking around to see who is watching, worried who might notice their presence, figuring the distance to the doors? Is the face of denial in the one who encourages you to do everything the way they would do it, if ever in fact they ever did it? What does the face of denial look like?

As Jesus looks around the room on this night watching His disciples eat, listening to their stories, hearing their laughter, feeling their hands upon His shoulders in brotherly love . . . As the surreal nature of the moment deepens in His heart, He teaches us that the face of betrayal, as with the face of denial, most often is the very face of those most near to us. Can someone who knows us not at all really betray us? Can someone who has never shared a moment with us ever really deny us? No. It is only those who are closest to our souls who have the power to claim or betray, to stay or deny. It is only those who are closest to our lives who have the capacity to tear out our heart without ever making an incision. It is only those who are closest to our being who have the opportunity to make the decision: stand with or stand against; protect or betray. That is why it is betrayal; That is why it is denial: Because it comes not from someone outside, it comes from within. The face of betrayal, as the face of denial, is the face of a friend who shatters the bonds of trust with the kiss of death.

He sees their faces, even as He sees our own, yet in His face will be seen neither betrayal, nor denial. He is our Brother, He is our Friend, He is our Lord, He is our Master, He is our Savior, He is the Christ. To betray us would be to betray His own soul, to deny us would be to deny His own Being. So He leads us to the garden and as He prays for us we dissolve into the night, the burden of our faces etched into His mind, the weight of our choices upon His shoulders . . . and He turned not away from those who would smite Him, for He would not turn away from us.

Whose face does He see in you this night?

Your servant in Christ,

Pastor Don