Unexpected Grace

Nancy looked at me over her right shoulder as she bent over the sink, pausing in her task of peeling par-boiled tomatoes and cutting them up for salsa, and asked, "Since when does your hobby become my full-time job?" Looking as innocent and confused as possible (actually, a normal state for me most of the time), I responded, "What are you talking about?"

It was then that she turned around, a half cut tomato in one hand and a medium knife in the other, and gave me 'the look'. You know 'the look'. 'The look' is somewhere between amused benevolence and irritated henchman. Nancy looked at me for a full fifteen seconds as though wondering from which parallel universe I had suddenly emerged (and, when you are receiving 'the look', fifteen seconds is a long time during which you know intuitively you are NOT to speak), then she said, "You are the one who loves to garden. You are the one who writes about the garden. You are the one who waters the garden. But, I am the one who has to take everything you bring out of the garden and prepare it for the table, can it or freeze it, so we can have it in the winter. It's just like the two dogs we have. You had to have them and told me how you would take care of them and, now, I'm the one who regularly vacuums the floor." And, there she stopped. She didn't have to say another word. I knew what she was saying, though that isn't exactly the way I perceive such things . . . still, I knew this wasn't the moment to make my case, especially when she suddenly started laughing, and said, "But, that's why I love you!"

Ah, sweet, grace-filled redemption!

'The look' melted away, Nancy turned back towards the sink to continue the process of preparation, and I was left standing, not wanting to leave as I pondered just how much I love this woman with whom I have shared so much over the last 36 years, and not wanting to stay for fear the redemption would be repealed. Uncertain which way to turn, I walked up behind her and gave her a hug, then went on to the job that had beckoned me in the first place.

There is something incredibly sweet, powerfully tender, and amazingly broad and deep about receiving grace undeserved. I knew what Nancy was talking about, yet to acknowledge that would have commensurate with having to say, 'You are absolutely correct and I have been remiss in my duties', which no self-respecting man would ever say, though we know we should. (Just kidding!!) Still, there are times words simply are inadequate. There are times the best thing a man can say, I can say, is nothing, which is why I hugged her. Hugs are the non-verbal way of covering a lot of ground, of receiving and acknowledging grace and forgiveness, of binding over the wounds which are obvious to the world, of moving towards peace and understanding, of expressing a depth of love the rest of the world would never be able to perceive. Hugs are a gift of God and are best served warm and often.

How do I know this? We have all been hugged by God. Not everyone acknowledges it, not everyone knows it, but we have all been hugged by God. The Living Word came silently one night and entered into the milieu of our living, received the incredulity of our gaze, took on the ignorance of our behaviors and, then, impossibly, gathered our pain and hurt into God's own arms and did for us what we could not do for ourselves: God buried the past in the embrace of our future as a stone rolled away from an empty tomb. God hugged us into new life then, and continues to do so each day through Jesus Christ and the Spirit.

Ah, sweet, grace-filled redemption!

I believe this is what heaven must be: Forgiveness we never expected to receive, followed by a hug we never imagined possible. Kind of like the story of the Prodigal Son coming home to his Father. Maybe that is why Jesus told that parable.

Thank you, Nancy, for embodying it for me - and thank you God, for a wife who knows You by name and lives your example each day. May it be so for us all.

"What's Love Got to Do With It?"

"What's love got to do with it?", sang Tina Turner as she reflected on her own life and journey and, for whatever the reason, that tune just keeps going through my mind this morning.

"What's love got to do with it?" as the American people reach a critical decision point regarding politicians who are worried more about their benefits than being a benefit to others; as the American people ponder the choice between the competing ideologies of political parties and Presidential candidates; as the American people in Illinois try not to get too mired in the finger pointing tactics of Springfield politics (otherwise known as Chicago politics to downstate constituents) and work to fund the essential human services and commitments for the people most in need; as the American people peer through the smoke and mirrors of political spin doctors, attempting to discern truth and act decisively for the sake of the nation; or, as the American people strive to create jobs in a toxic taxing environment, hoping all the while to provide sisters and brothers with essential opportunities to grow in self-respect and integrity.

"What's love got to do with it?" as the hierarchy of the Catholic church takes aim at controlling the women of the church, not just the nuns, but all women, in a time when the behaviors of old are just that, 'old'; as the Church universal struggles to find its voice of authentic Christian witness in the midst of a world torn by hatred, prejudice, fear and mistrust; as local congregations walk the walk of faith where they are, as they are gifted, only to be told that, because of dwindling numbers, their ministries are not financially prudent; as people in the pew turn their heart and soul to God for the Word of Relevancy and Challenge, instead of the tempting nectar of modernity so often offered as a placebo; or, as the identity of the Christian community is hijacked by so-called 'evangelicals' who presume to know exactly what God wants and where, shrouding their personal attack agendas with the language of 'who is in and who is out'.

"What's love got to do with it?" when one person sees a white man and thinks, 'racist', or another person sees a Latino and thinks, 'alien', or another person sees a black man and thinks, 'entitlement'; when one person sees a Middle Eastern woman and thinks, 'terrorist', or another person sees an English woman and thinks, 'snob', or another person sees an Asian woman and thinks, 'war'; or, when one person sees a farmer and thinks, 'ignorant', or another person sees a corporate executive and thinks, 'rich', or another person sees a blue collar worker and thinks, 'too bad'.

"What's love got to do with it?", Tina Turner sang, yet the tune and lyrics beg the answer yet today. Jesus gave one new commandment to the disciples, "Love one another." Love has everything to do with it: with our attitudes, our responses, our daily attention, even our moment by moment decisions, all in relationship with each other. When we fail to love as we are Loved, we have despised our humanity and subverted God's intention for our own will.

Love has everything to do with it. Thank you, Tina Turner, for reminding me of that today. I only pray that we, as members of the world community, find in ourselves the strength and will to reclaim the very purpose for which we are born in caring one for the other.

Love has everything to do with it.

Good Intentions

Good intentions are often divided from action taken by the fine line of taking the time. I cannot tell you how many are the moments I have thought of giving someone a call, stopping by to visit a parishioner, one of my brothers or my Dad, listening with a willing heart to the entire story someone has to share, and, well the list goes on and on . . .

My life is riddled with good intentions whose memory hangs like the albatross upon my heart, for I have looked into the eyes of those whose fortune it has been to be one of good intentions. The haunting, forlorn, hurt that courses those looks will not quickly leave my soul, nor should they, for they stiffen my resolve not to live a life made up exclusively of good intentions. Easy are the excuses, hard is the reality. No-one, including me, ever wants to know they are little more than a good intention on your list of things to do.

Which is why God sent the only Son. God doesn't just intend to bring all of God's children home, God comes to us and shows us the way. Jesus is God's gift of faithfulness that overcomes our every good intention in faith, in life, in living. The stone rolled away from the tomb bears the tears and scars of generations who wanted to live such faithfulness, but never seemed to have time time or resolve. God's Spirit rolls up the grave clothes of our wanton disregard of God and each other, inviting us to a new reality, a new time of being who God has created us to be.I am grateful to those in my life who regard me as something more than a good intention and pray forgiveness for those moments I have not taken time for another. May God be kinder to us all than we are to each other in all of our good intentions.

Peace on the journey, my friends.

Fire In the Family

Pastor Don's Corner . . .
* Pastor's note: Before anything more is written, I must confess that my mind and heart are heavily weighed down by the fire in the home of Rhetta Newsome and her son, Kevin. Standing with Kyle and Paula and Kevin as the Lebanon, O'Fallon and Sugar Loaf Township Firemen did their work quickly and well, there just are not adequate words for the feelings that were carried into the sky on the wisps of smoke that once were the wood and fiber of the Newsome home. Watching Rhetta's gentle tears and listening to her low moans of grief, then tending to the scene with Kevin, Kyle and Paula as it became clear that the fire was arson . . . and knowing that heaven's angels had been watching over Rhetta and Kevin, keeping them from harm, brings me to this moment in a both a grateful and a pensive prayer mood. As Kevin said it, "This was personal." Every tire on every car Kevin had on their lot had been flattened. An accelerant had been used on multiple sites on the property. Someone(s) had been intentional about sending a message.
Now it is imperative that the community send a message on behalf of the Newsome's and everyone like them: No more! This behavior will not be tolerated. This lack of respect for the property and livelihood of others will not be overlooked. This lack of basic human concern for the welfare of others will not be ignored. Not here, not there, not ever. No more!
Just as it takes a village to raise a child, so it takes a community living justly to ensure justice. If the burning of the Newsome home does not motivate the Lebanon community, and communities just like us around the world, to live towards a higher plane of faith, behavior and responsibility, expecting of each other that higher plane of faith, behavior and responsibility, then every home, every life is in jeopardy, for what 'that someone(s)' said today is that neither life, nor property matter: "Only what I want, what I believe, and what I think I need matters. And, I will do anything I want, to anybody I want, to get that point across." That, my friends, is base terrorist behavior - and this terrorist is not across the sea.
I am not advocating vigilante justice. I am advocating a faithful Christian expression of life lived well, as a disciple of Jesus Christ who, by the way, did not turn away from injustices, but squarely faced them in the eye and addressed them from the Mount, the Praetorium, and the cross. This is not a yearning for justice which is for the weak of heart. It is a way of life which demands our all.
That said . . .
As I sat before my computer this evening after spending the day with the Newsome's and prayed God's guidance before opening my Bible, I could never have anticipated what text my Bible would open to:
"Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times."" (Matthew 18.21-22 NRSV)
"Forgiveness?!", I thought. "Great. Nice text, Lord. Next you'll want me to talk about loving my enemies and really putting my faith on the line. All that nice writing about justice in the community just before this, then Your Spirit leads me to this text in Matthew about forgiveness. What's up with that?"
Then I looked up the word translated as 'forgive' in the Greek, did a word study and began to understand a bit more of what the Lord was pointing me towards. The word in the Matthew text translated as 'forgive' is "ă-phā'-sō", meaning "to send away, dismiss, suffer to depart". So, essentially, Peter is asking, "Lord, another member of the church sins against me, how often should I send them away, dismiss them, or suffer them to depart?" Forgiveness, in this context, is not about saying, 'Everything's okay' and forgetting about it. The kind of forgiveness Jesus talks about in this text (and the following story about the unjust servant) is about not carrying the issue with you, thereby giving the offender continued power and influence over you. The king who set the unjust servant free sent him away out of pity, then, later re-jailed the unjust servant for not showing understanding towards another who owed him money. Forgiveness, in this context, does not forget the trespass, but chooses to dismiss the offender, rather than continue to be consumed by the offense.
So, what is it we pray for when we ask God, " . . . and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors . . ."? Do we pray for God to forget our sins? Do we pray that God doesn't notice our sins? Do we pray that God will just forgive our sins? Are we praying to 'make a deal' with God about our sins, according to how we forgive the sins of others? Are we praying that God's sense of justice just overlooks whatever it is that we do? Are we praying for the courage, the will, the faith to forgive others as we pray God forgives us? And, if all is forgiven, where is the justice in this, either for ourselves who offend or for those who offend us? What of justice for God? What is justice before God?
In the Matthew 18 exchange between Peter and Jesus, then again in the following parable about the unjust servant, we need to note: to forgive does not mean the indiscretion, nor the debt, disappears. Rather, the one offended, the one to whom the debt is owed, extends pity over punishment, dismissal over imprisonment, choosing to send away - over dealing with them day after day. Forgiveness, then, is more about the one doing the forgiving than it is about the one being forgiven. The debt owed, the sin committed, speaks loudly enough to the community on its own.
To forgive is to intentionally choose not to give power, nor time, to the one who is unquestionably guilty. Sin's verdict has its own justice and guilt its own punishment. Yet, to forgive is to step away from being the one forced to carry the bad behaviors of others and claim freedom in the simple act of moving on. Forgiveness is to cast off the burden another has placed upon you in favor of the freedom God offers in living justly and equitably with others. Forgiveness is about the one sinned against - and the choices they make. Accepting forgiveness means to live out of the newly found freedom one has been given, extending that 'relief' to another and choosing, too, to live differently.
All that said, forgiveness is hard work, hard work indeed. We are a people skilled in seeing the speck in another's eye, yet boorishly slow in recognizing the log in our own. It is easy to tell others what they need to be forgiving and how they need to live as a people forgiven, yet is it an agonizing trek towards becoming personally forgiving and living as one forgiven of far more than we could ever imagine.
This particular night, I am finding it very hard to even consider forgiveness of those who have done such damage to the Newsome's home, livelihood, and lives, still, I am not sure how far or how long I want to carry those who did this to them. I'm not certain I want them to have that much power, nor am I certain that forgiveness is mine to offer. What I am certain of is that friends of mine are hurting through no fault of their own . . . and I am angry and hungry for justice on their behalf. How forgiveness fits into all of this is something I will have to pray about for a time, even while praying God will find forgiveness in God's heart for me.
Your servant in Christ,
Pastor Don

Forgiveness

I was recently asked a question regarding forgiveness, which led me to offer the following observations:

Forgiveness is hard stuff, hard stuff. It is easier to ‘love the sinner’ than to forgive the transgression which has impacted our living, all of which makes Jesus upon the cross saying, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”, all the more poignant.

A couple of things cross my mind in response to your questions:
1. Forgiveness is a process, not an event.
2. Forgiveness gives you permission not to be enslaved by the choices of others.
3. Forgiveness does not mean ‘forgetting’, rather the practice extends peace in the place of anger and/or guilt.
4. Forgiveness is an acknowledgement before God of how much we all struggle with our behaviors.
5. Forgiveness is an extension of God’s grace to others, not a guarantee that they will receive it or be changed by it.
6. Forgiveness is more about the heart of the one offering it, than the transformation of the one receiving it.
7. Forgiveness has to be practiced daily, even moment after moment.
8. The more you practice the forgiveness of others, the greater your capacity to receive it from God.
9. Little that others may say of forgiveness makes it easier for you to embody it.
10. Finally, forgiveness is between you and God. Others may only receive of your relationship with God, not shape it.

Just some things to ponder on your daily journey of faith.

Your servant in Christ,

Pastor Don