"God doesn't come and go. God lasts. God is Creator of all you can see or imagine. God doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch God's breath. And God knows everything, inside and out. God energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, your folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings ans soar like eagles. They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." (Isaiah 40:28b-31 The Message Bible)
Ched leaves on Wednesday. He has earned an appointment to the United States Air Force Academy and flies out from St. Louis to Colorado Springs, Colorado to begin Basic Cadet Training (BCT or 'Beast', as it is affectionately known) on Thursday. The Air Force Academy is a Division I University, boasting one of the highest levels of education available in the nation and training some of the brightest and best in our country to become Air Force Officers, a leadership core for the national defense. Ched will have access to some of the keenest minds on earth, to some of the best equipment in the world, and will participate in the kinds of training about which most of us could only dream. So, why is this lump building in my throat? Why do my eyes seem to incessantly tear-up at the slightest provocation? Why is it hard even to type these words when my heart and soul feels only such pride and wonder in whom it is that he is becoming?
I have jokingly suggested that, as a result of Ched departing our home, my greatest fear and newest avocation will be figuring out to whom it is that I have been married and living with these last 34 years, since most of that time her most common persona has been 'Mom' to our three sons. Is it the dreaded 'Empty Nest Syndrome' which is troubling me? Or, could it be deeper? Could it be that, once Ched is out and on his own and Nancy and I are at home alone together, I will no longer have anyone else upon which to blame my 'not hearing her voice' or 'not heeding her helpful directions'? Could it be that my deeper self is trembling at the notion of having to get to know myself, while blessed with having all of Nancy's loving attention focused on how I can now become the person she has always hoped I would be?
In the milieu of ponderings, Ched's oldest brother, Matthew, observes that it is a shame Nancy and I only had three sons, since each one has gotten progressively more intelligent and heaven only knows how wise our sixth or seventh children might have been. Ched's next older brother, Raymond, touches on the fact that Ched has been the blessed recipient of 'inherited wisdom' from both Matt and Ray, since Ched is very adept at seeing the problems others have had and learning from them. Truth is, both Matt and Ray are right: Ched, being eight years younger than Ray and twelve years younger than Matt, has learned volumes from them both, and the bottom line of what they have taught him is this: to be true to the gifts God has placed in him, to value family and community over all the other things which can be bought and sold, to surround yourself with people who are friends and who share common values, and to never stop pursuing your dreams.
Ched has learned well from his older brothers and, therein, is the emotion with which I am wrestling: The last of 'our boys' will be out of our home and on his own. The very thing we have striven as parents to prepare him for is that which causes the deepest distress in a father's heart: Flight. As ironic as it may seem, all three of our boys earned the rank of Eagle Scout because they avidly and tenaciously pursued it, and now the last eagle is leaving the nest for the United States Air Force and, though I know he will soar powerfully and well, I know, too, his flight will take him away from the reach of my arms and I can only stand with this mother on the side of the nest watching him soar, praying him safety and care. So, the ponderings and tears of this parent fall upon the Table of the Lord in prayer, praying both for that which my head understands and for that which my heart trembles to consider.
I pray that Ched continues to learn from his brothers, both of whom are carrying the lessons they have have shared with him over the years into the homes which they are establishing with their wives and children in God's care. Beyond the knowledge and skills Ched will attain in the next four years, I pray him wisdom to fly on the currents which lift him the closest to the One whose breath is the Wind itself. I pray him strength to be faithful to God and gentleness in serving Christ and his fellow human-beings. I pray him courage to trust God's Holy Spirit in trial and a generosity of spirit in offering leadership to others whose journey becomes part of his own. I pray him a greater capacity to love than I could ever express and a deeper conviction for justice and mercy in the stands he must take. I pray he never forgets where home is, while maintaining a sense of adventure in seeking God's direction for his life wherever that may take him. I pray that, in every circumstance, Ched will take his cue from Jesus Himself who always seemed to know when to take time away just to be alone with God - away from all the other voices of this world - and trusted the outcome of His immersion in this world to the Power of the One who births all there is.
Finally, I pray that this parent's pride, ponderings, joy and tears for his son, shed upon Christ's Table of sacrifice and victory, reflect the devotion and faithfulness of the Holy Parent whose tears of pride and joy caused angels to sing over Bethlehem and women to shout out in wonder before an empty tomb in Jerusalem. For it is, I believe, those 'in-between times', those times between a stable and the rush of a mighty Wind, those times between uncontrollable laughter and the lump of pride and love in the throat, those times between absolute wonder and outrageous awe, that most challenged the heart of our Parent God. Yet, was it not precisely for such times that God instructed Isaiah to speak these words to people like you and me, parents whose children are about to take flight as God's Israelite children took flight?
"But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles. They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind."
Wait upon God, Ched, wait upon God. Don't let a movement of your wings be taken without the Spirit of God to carry you. Soar beyond this parent's wonder into the joy for which God has intended you from the beginning and know that our love goes with you, as a family's love and touch always does, from age to age, beyond the bounds of geography to the places you are meant to be. Soar like an eagle in the care which only God can provide and know that our hearts fly with you.
Think Clearly. Act Decisively.
Live Faithfully.
'God Lasts.'
In the love of the Holy Parent,
Dad
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